Tuesday, January 1, 2013
I have to admit that 2012 was a bit of a rough year for me in many ways. We began the year by house hunting, and although purchasing our first home was very exciting, it was also incredibly stressful. Buying a home is such a huge commitment, and I was worried about making a wrong decision. Though I'm grateful we chose the home we did, there have been times when the pressures and responsibility of home ownership have been a bit overwhelming. Just within the first few days we lived here we had an electrical problem and a massive plumbing issue. Luckily our realtor was amazingly kind and paid out of his own pocket to repair the damage. Since then it's been quite the roller coaster, but all in all I just absolutely love our home. It's warm and inviting and bright and cheery, and every morning I feel so lucky to be able to raise my family under this roof.
This has also been a challenging year for me in the realm of relationships with others, both family and friends. It's very difficult and humbling to examine certain situations in hindsight and see the blatant faults I made that I just couldn't see at the time. Some situations I've been able to resolve and have been forgiven of my wrongdoings. Other situations, however, have ended with the loss of dear friendships that I will never be able to get back. Though the ache hasn't fully healed yet, I feel like the best thing I can do right now is to accept that I can't change the past and that I should try to learn from the experiences I've had in order to become a better person and to continue growing and evolving.
2012 wasn't all bad though; some really incredible things happened as well. I've made some absolutely amazing friends and have learned to be proud of who I am and what I believe rather than feeling I must be apologetic and guilt-stricken because of those who disapprove of my decisions. I no longer feel sorry for the ways in which I may have disappointed those around me, because their disappointment is not a reflection of my true character or intent. And that's a really powerful realization to make for someone like me who has always been an incessant people-pleaser.
So now I turn from the past to the future and begin thinking about the year ahead of me. I have quite a few resolutions this year - some typical and some a little more unique. I like the idea of recording them on my blog because it makes me feel a little more accountable and focused on what it is I truly want to accomplish. So without further ado, the list:
- Lose Weight. I know, I know. Super cliche. But this is a big one for me because I know that I'm so much happier when I'm at my goal weight. The first step toward losing weight will obviously be to eat better, but the second step will actually be to finally see an orthopedic surgeon and get my horrible knees fixed. At this point the only exercise I can do is yoga, and even that hurts my knees a bit. Something is seriously wrong with them and until I get this taken care of I'm afraid I'll really struggle with losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight. I've seen a few surgeons in the past who were incredibly unhelpful, so I'll be going to a recommended Orthopedics center in Salt Lake where I'm hopeful I will get the help I need. By the end of this year I'd love to be running again. I miss it badly.
- Start a Writing Blog. I've realized that going to school is not a good idea for me right now. My kids have been so sorely neglected this past semester and I just can't juggle all my responsibilities at home while also getting homework done and studying for tests. So I've decided to put off the school thing until Oliver is in school full-time. Although it was a very difficult decision to make, it's one I feel that I needed to make to save my sanity and really enjoy the time I have with my kiddos while they're young. That said, I still want to find ways to develop my writing skills and constructively express myself, so I will be starting a new blog where I can post essays, poems, stories, etc. that aren't necessarily related to this family blog. Of course I will still keep this blog up to date with all the things going on in the Nichols household as well. I'll post a link to the new blog as soon as I get it up and running.
- Take My Kids to Disneyland! Much of this year will be spent preparing and saving for a trip to Disneyland some time in October. Now that the boys are getting older and we're certain we aren't having any more kids, we'd like to start taking them on one big trip every year, and this should be a great one. I'm really excited!
And a few others...
- Cultivate new friendships
- Connect with old friends
- Get outside of my comfort zone
- Continue growing my Meetup.com group
- Read one book per month
- Work on getting my house and lawn in order
- Have lots of fun!!
I have a great feeling about 2013. I think a lot of great things will happen with regards to Sean's career, our social life, and the lives of our family members. I love the surge of hope that comes from starting with a nice new clean slate. Here's to a wonderful year everyone!