Friday, January 11, 2013

Taylor Gems

My little five-year-old has been saying the most hilarious and/or insightful things since the second he could talk. I've got a file on my phone called "Funny Things Taylor Says" to track all of these little gems, and I'd like to share some here that he's said within the past six months or so. Enjoy!

08/01/12 - "Mommy, humans keep going in a circle - baby, grown-up, die. Baby, grown-up, die. Will humans ever stop going in that circle? Will there be a time when humans don't exist anymore?"

08/23/12 - "I need someone who can read and I also need to go potty."

08/25/12 - Taylor: "I try to throw up but nothing comes out. Isn't that weird?" Sean: "I think it's because you don't actually have to throw up." Taylor: "No, I said it's WEIRD. Also, I think I have a really bad neck infection."

08/27/12 - "At school, when we line up, if you're at the front of the line you have to wait FOREVER for the teacher to catch up. Not even one minute, like THREE minutes! It's really frustrating, but I just keep those things in my head and I don't say them to my teacher. I'm never inrespectable to her."

09/04/12 - "Daddy, I feel really weird. I feel like we live in Canada."

09/07/12 - "Daddy, I just read something from left to right and it said 'Twelve, something, something, three hundred and fifty-five.'"

09/21/12 - "We took Daddy to work and now we're going back home. This is just like the old days."

10/13/12 - "When I grow up I'm gonna get a phone with Siris on it. I'll ask her lots of questions like, 'When is the third Ghost Busters movie coming out?'"

10/13/12 - Me: "Do you want me to make pancakes?" Tay: "No thanks, I'd rather have my regular breakfast of oatmeal."

10/26/12 - "I have a great idea for Halloween. Instead of giving trick-or-treaters just one candy we should give each one a HUGE BAG of candy! That way their trick-or-treating will go by super fast because they'll only have to go to one house!"

12/26/12 - I overheard Taylor awarding Oliver with his "very first raptor-putting-to-sleep badge."

12/10/12 - Taylor, concerning the book "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish": "That is the longest short book I ever read! Also, it's not even a blue fish, it's a turquoise fish."

12/10/12 - "A cold, snowy day likes this calls for some nice hot chocolate."

12/20/12 - "Mommy, is today the twentieth or the twenty-oneth?"

12/21/12 - "Mommy, I think I have hiccups because I keep hicking upping."

12/29/12 -  Me: "Taylor you need to get dressed now." Tay: "Why do I have to get dressed?" Me: "Because humans wear clothes." Tay: "But I'm not a human, I'm an alien. And aliens don't wear clothes." Me: "Sorry kiddo, you're a human." Tay: "No because one time I had a weird reaction to something and I woke up and a bunch of aliens were hugging me and I had a third eye."

My kid is crazy and amazing. Love him so much!