"Lullabye for Me" by Michael McLean

This hasn't been a day that I would call my best
I'd give myself a failing grade if this had been a test
I did not comfort you when you were all alone
I was too busy crying through some problems of my own
Today I have not been the mom you needed me to be
And tonight I wish that you could sing
A lullaby for me

I'm glad that you can sleep, I wish that I could too
I'm sorry that today I wasn't really here for you
I must have slipped away to some far distant land
Where I'm the child who cries until her mother takes her hand
Today I have not been the mom you needed me to be
And tonight I wish that you could sing
A lullaby for me

Tomorrow I'll reclaim my proper place
I'll tuck you in and gently kiss your face
I'll do the things a mom's supposed to do
And I'll know what those things should be
Cause now I need them too

This hasn't been a day that I want to repeat
I'm sorry I could only say I'm sorry while you sleep
Today I have not been the mom you needed me to be
And tonight I wish that you could sing
A lullaby for me
Tonight I need someone to sing
A lullaby for me

Dear Taylor,

I know that I'm not anywhere near perfect. Sometimes I'm not the mommy you deserve.

I yell.

I lose my temper.

I don't listen.

But I hope you know how much I love you. I adore you. You are my sweet boy and my heart aches as I watch you grow and become more independent. I need you to need me, and it hurts when you don't. I think you are so amazingly intelligent, and you've taught me far more than I could ever teach you. You've helped me to learn what true love, compassion, and acceptance is. You've helped me see the world through your eyes, and in doing so have made me want to be a better person.

I'm sorry for all the days "I have not been the mom you needed me to be." I'm trying to be better. I want to be better. I need to be better.

I love you, sweet boy. Forever.

Love,
Mommy